A certain amount of wine...

Me.  Flask swigging while navigating traffic.
Don't worry, I wasn't driving.

I miss being drunk.  There, I said it.  With the pregnancy and now breast feeding, it's been a year since I caught a good buzz.  I'm not even a big drinker (at least not by comparison to some of my compadres), but every now and again I feel the need to get totally sloppy.

Being drunk gives you the right... almost the obligation... to do ridiculous things like devour a cheeseburger and fries at 3 a.m., sob uncontrollably to your girlfriends for no good reason, or take facebook photos of yourself in a public restroom.  Don't even get me started on what you SINGLE drunks can get away with!  I mean, the three-way-kiss wouldn't even exist if it wasn't for vodka.  (Ok, maybe the world could've done without that last one... but you get my drift).

Drunk dancing is what I miss most.  I got a birthday card once with the saying...

"There's a certain amount of wine that'll make you say 'Damn, I'm a great dancer!' "

I've let that be a personal mantra ever since.  To be honest, I think I've got some moves with or without tequila... the confidence to show them off - that's what the tequila is for.  

A few weeks ago, mu hubby was playing out at a local bar with his new band Mao Say Fun.  Their songs are very dancey, but it was early and the crowd wasn't really boogie-ing yet.  A few of my girlfriends jumped on the dance floor to get things started.  Normally, I would've led the pack... but the sobriety made me second guess it.  I hung back like a wallflower for the first five minutes or so, quietly observing and working up the courage.  When I finally got out there, I felt something missing - and I don't mean my good friend Don Julio.  All my killer dance moves were gone!  I sort of awkwardly swayed around, finding it difficult to move more than an inch or so in either direction.  I could swear all eyes were on me (and they so weren't).  Maybe it wasn't the sobriety.  Maybe it the self-conciousness of a post-preggo body or the fact that a few ex's were lurking around...  whatever the case, I'm sure "a certain amount of wine" would've cured all that.  When you're drunk, you think no one is keeping tabs on all your wild antics - when in fact, that's probably when you're causing the biggest scene.

This is me... on the floor... in a dress... moments after
doing the worm at a work party.  Classy.

No one ever wants to be "that girl," but every now and then... a good sloppy dance party is exactly what the doctor ordered.  For me, that's usually followed by a full day of Excedrine Migraine and dry heaves toast.  Yet, somehow, a few months later I'd be back out there doing the worm all over again.  Ah... the good ol' days.